Life

Sad Realization

I had a very sad realization last night.

As most of you know, Brandon and I have both worked for Christian organizations and for Christian employers, and we have both also worked in secular jobs for employers who never claimed to be religious at all. And we were discussing last night about how we both feel like we need a break from working in ministry because of how exhausting and frustrating it seems to always be in comparison to working “regular” jobs.

We were recalling how disappointing it has been for both of us to have had Christian employers consistently expect us to work more hours for less pay and little or no benefits, to provide little encouragement or support, and in some cases break or come close to breaking state and federal employment laws.

Certainly not ALL Christian employers do this, but it has been both my and Brandon’s experience in almost every position we’ve held in a church, ministry, or other employment with a “Christian” boss. And we’ve been disheartened to hear of several of our friends working in ministry experiencing the same thing.

There is something VERY wrong here! As Christians, we ought to be following the laws of the land and beyond in our treatment of others – as a testimony of Christ’s love and generosity and justice. But instead, Christian employers often squeak by at the very least or even less than the law and expect their employees to accept those conditions as the sacrifice for working for “the Church.”

Now, clearly it isn’t right for those serving the Church to grow fat and wealthy on the offerings of the people they serve. But God DID spend a LOT of time in Scripture laying out how the people were commanded to provide for the priests and religious servants of the Hebrews. Does the same principal not follow today for servants of the Church?

I recognize that these things often happen, in part, because ministries are usually non-profit and often struggling to come up with the funds to operate and pay their employees.

But I suspect that another reason that Christian employers treat their employees in such a way is simply because they can get away with it. The sort of person who is interested in working in a ministry for lower pay than they could receive elsewhere is likely NOT the sort of person who is going to sue their Christian employer for over-working and underpaying, etc.

I don’t think that secular employers treat their workers better because they are better people, but because they are aware of the law and worried about getting sued or fined if they break it. Christian employers seem to have less fear of that. Which brings me to my sad realization: often times, the world fears men more than Christians fear God.

Forgive us, LORD!

How dare we treat Your sons and daughters in such a way! How dare we cheat people of their earnings and legal rights in Your name! How dare we treat like slaves and servants those You have called into ministry! How dare we financially cripple, physically exhaust, and emotionally degrade those who bear Your name and who seek to bring Your Light to us and to the dark world around us!

Open our eyes, soften our selfish hearts, show us our sin, show us how to care for one another as You have commanded us to!

Life

Well, it’s been ages since I’ve blogged – mostly because there’s been so much. I was tempted to blog several times over the past month especially, but I refrained because I really would have only been complaining and wallowing in negativity. But now that things have taken a more positive turn, let me update you!

As I’ve blogged about before, Brandon was out of work for about 5 months. It was SO hard financially and emotionally. But somehow we survived – thanks to God’s provision through some incredible friends and acquaintances and sometimes just miraculous “stretching” of the dollars.

Well, praise God – Brandon found a job that he LOVES! He’s been working there for about 2 months now. He’s very busy there, but very happy! After about a month, we were able to finish-up payment plans we had been on and we started catching up on bills we were a bit behind on.

Then, the unexpected happened: I was notified that I’ll be loosing MY job soon! Almost a year ago, my employer offered me the position of director. But I declined – certain that it would not be a good fit. About 2 months ago, they started seeking a new director. When they found someone, I was notified that my job would no longer be necessary and my housing would be needed by the new director and his family. They gave me 30 days to find a new home and a new job. YIKES!

Honestly, I was VERY hurt and frustrated and angry at first. But the truth is, I understand that it is necessary for them to hire a new director and that most of my responsibilities have been those that a director should have been doing. And also, Brandon and I were already WANTING to leave – we just weren’t financially READY to do it yet.

So, after totally freaking out for about a week – I finally realized that being stressed and upset wasn’t going to help a thing. And now, just 2 weeks into it, we’ve already found an apartment in Decatur that we’re going to begin moving into this weekend. And although we had NO IDEA how we were going to pay a deposit and first month’s rent, God provided through our AMAZING friends in our church small group who gave EXACTLY what we needed!

So now, I just need a job. And even THAT is provided for in the short-term: I’m working part-time in a TEMPORARY position in an office in Decatur. And I really enjoy it there. So I’ll be bringing home a LITTLE money in the mean time if I don’t find a new full-time job right away. But please DO PRAY that I find something permanent and full-time soon – we’ll soon be paying utilities and much higher rent than we’re used to.

Whew! So, LOTS OF LIFE CHANGES recently! But God’s goodness and faithfulness has been evident the whole time – and I trust that He’s bringing us into a new and exciting chapter of life.

Thanks so much to those of you who have been praying for and encouraging us through these last several months. What a blessing our friends and family members have been!

And to those who I’ve been negligent in contacting lately, please forgive me and continue to be forgiving as I try to focus on putting life back together!

Happy Autumn!

-Heather

My obsession with Judaism . . .

Disclaimer: This is a blog about my weird emotional nonsense. Please understand that I’m a committed Christian and that I fully understand and believe the Christian scriptures that clarify that in Christ, there is neither Jew nor Greek, male nor female, slave nor free, etc. (Galatians 3:28). I know I’m an adopted child of the King and all of that – you don’t need to explain it to me.

OK, so I just have to express this because it’s bugging me right now. I’m totally frustrated and disappointed that I’m not (and cannot become) Jewish. It’s not a logical issue – it’s just something that tears at my heart sometimes. Let me start from the beginning of this strange situation of my heart.

When I was a child, my family didn’t attend church. But my mother read me Bible stories, and they were my favorites – especially the stories from the Old Testament. I think I initially misunderstood who the Hebrews were and thought myself to be one because I remember being INCREADIBLY disappointed upon learning that we (my family) are Gentiles. It was after we started attending church when I was in middle school that I even learned that there was a difference – before that I think I just thought that everyone who believed in God was a descendent of the people in the Old Testament. I was also really frustrated at the time that I was a girl instead of a boy because I noticed that most of the important people in the Bible were men and I misunderstood some scriptures and thought that women were considered by God to be less important. I remember praying about it and crying. I didn’t choose to be born a female gentile. It didn’t seem fair that I should be less-favored by God because of something that was entirely out of my control.

Well, since that time – I’ve learned and understood the scriptures better and I now know that it is NOT the case that God favors men and Jews more that the rest of us. But for some reason, there is still a tug within me toward Judaism. In fact, during a crisis of faith in college, I came VERY close to converting to Judaism. But I could not (and still cannot) deny that Jesus Christ is the Messiah.

However, I’ve still maintained a strong interest in Jewish holidays and practices and history. For a long time, I secretly hoped that we’d discover a Jewish relative on my mom’s side or that I’d end up marrying a man who’d been born Jewish and converted to Christianity so that I could claim Judaism as my own – but no lost relatives have surfaced and I have married a man without any hint of Judaism in his family.

I’ve even considered looking into Messianic Judaism - which is a group of Jews who believe that Jesus is the Messiah and sort of straddle the line of Judaism and Christianity. But my understanding of this group is that you must be a Jew first to become a Messianic Jew, and I do not fit into that category. And I’ve also learned that this group is sort of an outcast to both Jews and Christians – not really entirely accepted by either main-line group.

All of this is silly, I know. And I can logically talk myself into being fine with it all. I know that there is no difference in Christ. I know that I am, as a gentile, loved by the Lord the same as I would be as a Jew. I know that for the first few hundred years of its existence, Christianity was considered a Jewish sect. I know that in the eyes of my Lord and Creator I am just as much His child as any other who loves Him.

But my heart still aches about it. I still long to visit Israel – to feel like it is my home. And I wish I could celebrate the Jewish holidays and experience the traditions. I wish there were others like me who I could worship with or at least share an understanding with. But I instead just feel silly and strange. And my husband and friends put up with my eccentricity of being just a little obsessed with Judaism.